A solitary barn in a snowy farm field

9 Comments

  1. “But that’s the choice we face when we’re weary – to despair, or to hold onto truth, even if truth sounds like platitude.” I love this. I was having a moment last week, tottering between harder and softer, and my daughter started singing the Veggie Tales song: “I know my God’s the biggest. And He’s watching over me.” So simple and yet the truth of it pummeled me, left me breathless. Thank you for this post, Alison. You continue to be in my prayers.

    1. Thank you, Anna. My children are often the means by which God pulls me back. Last Thursday (the Thursday mentioned in this post) Annabell came to me in the laundry room. “Mommy, you seem like you’re miserable. Can I pray for you?” What?!? She’s nine. That was a divine arrow straight to my heart. Between my friend’s text and my little girl, I made it through and He gave me His new mercies for the next morning, and the next, and the next. 🙂

      1. Beautiful!!! Annabell reminds me so much of my six-year-old. There are times when I am humbled by how it is so obvious God has chosen him to be part of his brothers’ healing (even when I’m not sure I can go on). Thank you so much for sharing this!!!

        1. Isn’t it amazing how he gives us these little helpers? I love it. Thanks for fighting the good fight with me. 🙂

  2. Weary, yeah, I know it. Thank you for the reminder that we don’t walk alone in our weariness. That story about Moses is one of my favorites. Have you heard the Andrew Peterson song “Hold Up My Arms”? It’s an older one, and it’s about marriage, but it’s so moving. And we aren’t all weak and weary at the same time, which is good encouragement to find our strengths and support others in their weaknesses, too.

    And I know you worry about how your daughter will react if she ever reads and knows how you were feeling. All I can say is that if you’re available to her to talk through it and answer her questions, even the hard ones, then it’ll be okay. My parents were teenagers when they married and I always felt bad that they “had” to get married because of me. But 36 years later, they’re still together, and I never knew anything but love from my family. Still, I thought I was worthless, and that had nothing to do with what anyone said. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I could even voice that my parents and find out what it was like from their perspective. My mom doesn’t feel like she missed out on life because she was young enough to enjoy it with us.

    Okay, enough of my therapy. 🙂 Just wanted to offer that as encouragement that whether you say it or write it or not, she might have those doubts/negative reactions anyway. Sometimes you have to do what you need to do. (And I think you and Jen Hatmaker need to meet and talk. Can I come along for the ride?) 🙂

    1. I never thought of it from that perspective, Lisa. Thank you for sharing something so personal. It’s amazing to think of the threads that weave together to make us who we are today, with our unique bundles of talent, strength, and insecurity. Thank God He knows our deepest places, because I’m not sure we always do! 🙂

  3. “Being willing to be made willing” A wonderful way to put it. And something we all wrestle with from time to time.
    Glad you were willing! And give me a call (or text) if you need someone to help lift your weary hands someday.

    1. That phrase was another gem from my friend Allie, the aforementioned recipient of my S.O.S. text. It has become my prayer – that I would be willing to be made willing. Thank you so much for your encouragement and support, Lisa. Don’t be surprised if I take you up on the offer. 🙂

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